What to wear
Choose respectful, understated clothing.
Guests are often asked to wear dark, white or muted clothing, while close relatives may wear designated mourning garments or colours according to family tradition. Bright celebratory colours may be avoided unless the family requests otherwise.
When in doubt, ask the family or funeral director before attending.
- Follow any dress instructions from the family
- Choose simple, respectful clothing
- Avoid assuming black is always required
- Do not wear symbolic colours without guidance
- Allow for ceremonial sashes or mourning items supplied on arrival
Flowers and offerings
Meaning matters more than assumption.
Flowers, incense, food, fruit, candles and ceremonial paper offerings may form part of the funeral. What is appropriate depends on faith, ancestry, venue rules and family wishes.
Some venues restrict flames, smoke or burning, so ceremonial elements must be coordinated in advance.
During the ceremony
Observe, listen and follow guidance.
Guests may be invited to bow, offer incense, stand for chanting or take part in a procession. It is acceptable to quietly follow the instructions provided.
Photography, filming and phone use should be avoided unless the family has clearly permitted them.
Mourning customs
Respect after the funeral.
Some families observe a mourning period, memorial days, further prayers or temporary restrictions on celebrations and visits. Others do not follow these customs.
These choices belong to the family and should not be judged or imposed.
Customs vary
Never rely on stereotypes.
Chinese communities include many regional, religious and family traditions. A practice familiar to one family may be inappropriate for another.
Everlay and Hinzen begin by asking, listening and explaining rather than assuming.
Frequently asked questions
Clear answers,
without assumptions.
Must guests wear black?+
Not always. Follow the family’s instructions; white, dark or muted colours may be requested.
Can I bring flowers?+
Ask the family or funeral director, as flower customs and venue rules vary.
Can guests offer incense?+
Sometimes. The ministers will explain if and how guests may participate.
Is photography allowed?+
Only if the family has clearly agreed.
Do all Chinese families follow a mourning period?+
No. Practices differ between families and traditions.
When you are ready
Begin with a
calm conversation.
You do not need to understand every tradition or have every detail decided. Tell us about your family, where the funeral will take place and what matters to you. Everlay and Hinzen will explain the options and coordinate the arrangements with care.
For requests outside the London region, additional travel and accommodation costs may apply. Please contact us for a tailored quotation.
Speak to the Everlay team →